Express What's Repressed
Back in September I went on a Sacred Emotion Retreat in Costa Rica with Elicia Miller and Janet Raftis. I had been on a journey of self discovery and healing my mind, body, and soul, so this retreat was exactly what I needed to do to kick off my 30's.
Everyone goes through challenges. Everyone has heartache and sadness and things that have scarred them to the core. I used to think that being strong and holding it all in was the answer. I thought that if I pretended none of my traumas, heartache, and sickness ever bothered me, then maybe it would go away. I then realized that I wasn't holding it in. I drank and partied most of my 20's, never really having meaningful relationships with anyone. I had no idea who I was, or what I was doing.
This year I got to a point in my life where I didn't want to fake it anymore. I didn't want to fake relationships, or just go with the motions with people. I wanted to feel and experience life in the deepest way possible. I was longing for this meaningful life that I knew was within reach, but I didn't know how to get to it. I was now a wife, and planning to be a mother. I wanted to make sure that I was my most authentic self for my future family. I needed to dive deep into my past and let it go so that I didn't let my past be my future family's issues.
I started working with Elicia and Janet shortly after my wedding in March. I had been working on healing myself physically from my SIBO, Candida, Adrenal Fatigue, and Hashimotos, but I knew there was a mental component I needed to tackle . Elicia's program is based on your physical symptoms being due to repressing your emotions. 100% me. I started with Elicia's 60-day Express What's Repressed course diving into every situation that has molded me into who I am today. I am not going to say it was easy, but it was the best thing that I have ever done in my life.
I started to see life differently. I started to see people differently. I was able to feel so much happiness and joy. I was able to understand why I had certain triggers, and how I can avoid them. I was also able to really learn myself, who I am, and appreciate what I have been through. Y'all, it was deep. I recommend every single person doing that program. Because people don't deal with things. Our society is so backwards and we don't talk about our mind and how it is such a powerful force. We wonder why everyone is depressed and miserable! Here's your answer!
Janet has also been one of the best blessings that I have ever received. She is an intuitive coach and energy healer. She has taught me so much about myself and taught me how to protect my energy. Being an empath is hard, as those of you who are understand. Your energy can be sucked out of you in a quickness.
So September came and it was time to head to Costa Rica. I left on a Sunday morning. Terrified. I was going by myself, with 7 women I had never met before. All on a journey to let go of the chains that were holding us down. Ready to take on the world but needing guidance on how to do that.
I got to the Atlanta airport and greeted 3 of the women. We all happened to be from Atlanta, which was awesome because we were able to meet beforehand. Arriving in Costa Rica, was beyond words. I had set aside 7 days for myself, to work on me. To dig as deep as I could go to set myself free. I remember tears strolling down my face as we pulled down the mountain to The Retreat. I was so grateful and proud of myself for embarking on this journey.
The next 7 days were more than I could have imagined. We worked hard on going through our lives, all the way back to childhood, to deal with any issues that we had. Rape, molestation, abandonment, you name it, we covered it. Letting all of that go, set it on fire, leaving it behind you and moving on, is powerful. I sat there in silence on the last day, just taking in the majestic landscape, the serenity that was surrounding me, and loving the me that had been there all along, but had been covered with shame and grief. I was a new woman.
Support is a powerful thing. You see, I didn't know the other women coming to this retreat. I didn't know their stories, or anything but their first name before arrival. At the end of this retreat, these women were my family. They were my support, my shoulder to cry on, my sisters. Age, race, career, none of that mattered. We were women who wanted our lives back. Who wanted to be better people, who wanted to follow our dreams and passions, and we all took the time and did the work to improve ourselves. I was so used to being around miserable people. With no ambition, going through the same motions as I had been, not living up to their full potential. Living in a world of negativity because they too had repressed their emotions so far down that they were miserable to be around.
I share all of this with you because I want you to know there is more. There is more to life than bar hopping til 3 am. There is more to life than the friends you only have when you are drunk. There is so much more to life than the superficial front that everyone puts on. What car you have, what Fortune 500 company you work for. Staying in the meaningless relationship you have been stuck in for years. None of that is real.
Life is hard. Death is hard. Sickness is hard. Rape is hard. Molestation is hard. Family is hard. Relationships are hard. Take time for yourself to deal with all your troubles. Don't let those troubles take away anymore of your life than they already have. Because y'all, life is freaking beautiful when you let go of all those things.
I close this long life rant with a video I took while leaving Costa Rica. Our personal chef for the week drove us to our van to head to the airport. He pulled out a ukulele and serenaded us. It's a short video, but it still brings tears to my eyes of the magic that I experienced on that crystal mountain back in September.